I am happy to report that Autumn is on it’s way and the weather has cooled down quite a bit. Once you’ve acclimated to temperatures over a hundred degrees, eighty starts to feel cold!
My oldest started fourth grade and we had our first preschool session in the new school house. I was nervous to see how it would go, but it was great! It’s amazing to see my little girl grow up and get along with the other littles – she even participated in the group activities which is quite a change from last year (hooray). The preschool is a co-op and it seems like we have an awesome group of families participating. It feels so gratifying to have gone so far out of my comfort zone and have it turn out so well 😊 I am in charge of next week’s lesson, so this morning I decided to get the tractor out and mow the weeds down along our trails so that I could take the kids on a nature hike.
I was having so much fun, I even got brave and went down one of the steeper trails.
I was super proud of myself as I reached the bottom at the ravine, but then I got stuck.
The weeds were hiding the sand that had washed down into the riverbed from last winter’s flood. I felt so stupid – I don’t know about you, but I have a voice in my head that doubts everything I attempt to do, and this morning it was ridiculously persistent. I tried to get myself out of the ravine for twenty minutes or so and then I hiked back to the house to find my husband.
He wasn’t home. The voice in my head kept on – just wait for him, he can get it out. You did it again, always doing the wrong thing….
But then I remembered the words my daughter is always repeating – You just have to try, try, try!
So I turned around and went back to try again.
Eventually I got the thing unstuck! I was elated when the tractor found traction and started to move!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then I got stuck again a few feet away.
Again, the doubting Thomas in my head told me to just give up. I must have turned the tractor on and off again fifteen times, giving up and then deciding to try again. I pleaded with the tractor, MOVE! PLEASE MOVE!
And then it did! Woot!
And then I got stuck AGAIN.
By this time I was sweating and dodging yellow jackets and convinced I would have to call in the husband to rescue me, but I was decided to keep trying until he came to look for me.
Guess what happened? I eventually got it out of the ravine and up the other side. All by myself.
I am bruised, and my arms are sore, but today I learned a lesson.
From now on, I’m going to tell that voice that is so full of doubt to shut the fuck up.